Too soon?

The past couple months have had their challenging moments. It’s not all cute videos and entertaining anecdotes.

This weekend has been an exercise in challenging moments. Elena had some stomach thing and Zoë is teething, and Ben was out, so yesterday evening I had a screaming five month old and an exploding four year old. (I called my mom.) Later, Zoë fussed her way to sleep over the course of two hours, and once she was finally asleep, Elena exploded again. (Ben was home to experience this joy.)

Thank you, wine, for getting me through the night.

I keep signing up for things, thinking I’ll be able to do them, then realizing that there’s no WAY I’ll be able to fit it in. Or more accurately, I theoretically could fit it in, but I don’t want to give up what I would have to give up in exchange (sleep, time with kids, time doing the relaxing things I actually enjoy).

The first casualty was a women’s leadership program I was really excited about but the time commitment was just too great. Next was 11pm hockey games (which, let’s face it, are not exactly something I enjoy anyway). I was convinced – convinced! – Zoë would be sleeping through the night by January. No luck there.

Now I’m realizing I’m not likely to get in the training I need to run the Cherry Blossom 10 mile run at the beginning of April. I love running shorter distances, but ten miles is not an easy distance for me; I do need to train pretty substantially, and I’m just not finding the time. (The weather is not helping.)

The cold never bothered me anyway? False.

So I think I’ll be downgrading to the 5K, so I can still run and enjoy the experience and not stress myself out if I have another weekend like this weekend.

I’m told that having two kids does get easier (and thank you to those of you who have taken the time to counsel me on this fact). And I know from experience once the kid gets older and sleeps better and the weather is nicer, everything that seems impossible now will seem so much easier. But for now I’ll just have to focus on baby steps.

At the moment, both kids are fast asleep and I’m about to enjoy some Olympics and (more) wine with my husband. Wish me luck!


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