I’ve recently had cause to consider my rankings of the five most disgusting things about having small children.
5. How everything is sticky all the time. In fairness this may be my husband’s fault.
4. Poopsplosions. What, you liked that little onesie? You didn’t feel like doing laundry this morning? You don’t want to remember to keep size appropriate spare clothes every place your child spends time? Tough.
3. Childbirth in general. Making a surprise early showing because it’s been 8 months since I’ve been through it and biology has already wired me such that I forgot how awful it was. Childbirth? I remember being in a hospital, and there was some pain, but there were also people bringing me dessert and I didn’t have to clean anything up. Sounds ok.
2. Being thrown up on. Or someone throwing up in your car, which counts as the same thing. Your kid is sick and crying and you can’t even hug them because ew.
1. When your kid poops on the tub. MIC DROP. Worst thing ever.