Today’s post comes from Dawn of Red Pen Mama, and is part of a special day of shenanigans from other Pittsburgh Bloggers. You can see my post over on Last Minute Panic, where I give some fantastic tips on parenting. This switcheroo was organized by Alex – thanks for including me, Alex!
I don’t often write about my husband, Dan, on my blog. But I wanted to do something a little different for this guest event, so I went with a little something about how our relationship works. Dan’s read it, and approved.
The ages-old saying is “opposites attract.” But for my husband Dan and me, it’s less about being opposites than it is about filling in the gaps.
Sure, he’s an extrovert and I’m an introvert; he tends toward depression and I tend toward anxiety. However, our relationship came to be more because we shore each other up. Where I am weak, he is strong; and when HE is weak, I am strong. And vice versa.
We’re good teammates and life partners. Early on in our marriage, I gave him a card. The outside said something like, “Even though things are difficult right now…” and finished in the inside, “…it’ll be okay, as long as we have each other, and plenty of snacks.”
Plus, ultimately, we share the same values — like “the big stuff”. We both wanted children; our extended families are important to us; we are both practicing Catholics; we value education. We’re a good match. I bet if we were online dating (Dan and I met before online dating), we’d be paired up.
However, we have wildly divergent tastes in books, music, movies — pop culture, if you will.
I read just about anything, mostly fiction, although I do try to get some good non-fiction in there. I like page turners and horror and chick lit and Liane Moriarty, Stephen King, Joe Hill, and Alex Marwood. And Margaret Atwood and Guy Gavriel Kay. J.K. Rowling — and her pseudonym.
You get the idea.
Dan reads the Lord of the Rings saga. The Hobbit, the LOTR trilogy, and The Silmarillion. Over and over again. He’s made the attempt to read Harry Potter books with Flora, our oldest daughter, but I don’t know if he finished the first one.
The Beatles, The Blues, and Bob Dylan
When it comes to music, Dan likes solid standbys. He’s got good taste, without question. Although I would never willingly listen to Bob Dylan. Also, Dan knows his music trivia, the history of the albums and artists he listens to.
I don’t always know the name of the lead singer of a band I’m currently into.
I am always looking for new music. I browse the latest releases on Spotify. I see what’s new on First Listen on NPR. I’m not a big fan of pop music, but I pay attention to it. I keep an ear out in case a favorite band of mine releases a new album.
Same with movies to a certain extent. Dan loves classic movies, but I’m always browsing through new releases on Netflix.
Dan accuses me of having shallow taste, and of wanting to be entertained, and he’s not wrong. Dan is brainy when it comes to this books, music, and movies. He likes to think about them and critique him. I choose things that appeal a little more to my heart and emotions. As Dan said one time when I was grooving along to a Fountains of Wayne song, “Put in some handclaps, and Dawn Patton’s going to like it.”
And even where we diverge, we try to stay open. Dan has been to many concerts by “my” bands; I have gone to see Rush, Eric Clapton, and B.B. King because of him. I suggest new books for him to read — I’m still holding out hope he will read the Harry Potter saga — and I have gone to see all of the LOTR movies with him. Admittedly, I have declined to watch the last two Hobbit movies in the theater. But I will watch them on DVD.
Despite the places where we are opposites, Dan and I work together, and have been doing so for 15-some years. We’re quite luckier than most. Despite his love of Bob Dylan, Dan’s name is the one on my heart. And that will never change.
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